Do You Dream?
Do you dream? There was a time on my journey when I stopped dreaming. I no longer dreamt about my future which resulted in no dreaming in my sleeping state. I didn’t realize I wasn’t dreaming anymore until my I became intentional about healing my trauma. I started praying and asking God to reveal my dreams back to me. It was important to me because that is one of the many ways God communicates. But God didn’t just give my dreams back to me, I had to start (day) dreaming again. I had to become that little girl version of myself again by believing what I wanted for my future could be true.
Along my journey, I was so submerged in despair that God stopped communicating with me. Not because God gave up on me, but because I wasn’t listening to my conscience. So, God left me to do it my way and of course it sent me down a path of darkness. One major lesson I have learned since living intentional, is that we have free will. There is always a choice, right or wrong, good or bad, positive or negative, comfort or discomfort, faith or fear, and so on.
I chose darkness, I chose to stop dreaming, I chose to live in survival mode. I chose negativity. I chose fear. I chose to be spiritually dead. I chose to live in fear. I chose to fight my own battles. I chose to play small and dim my light. I chose to be silent. I chose to be all these things because didn’t believe, so therefore it was no reason to dream. There was no physical devil to put my choices on. I was the devil (my shadow self).
I was living in quicksand every day, sinking in my pain. While pretending that everything was okay. Praying to a God that I had no connection with. Going to church, not feeling moved by the messages because I wasn’t taught how to have a relationship with God. All I saw was fear and rules. Religion made me afraid of God. So, I kept pretending, hoping it would be enough to change my life. But doing things my way, would never be enough. I was seeking temporary bliss. Not knowing that if I chose God, I would experience permanent bliss.
Being stubborn was my first, middle, and last name. I would run into the same brick a million times and still try to do it my way. After some time, I was tired of fighting for my life by myself. Believing means to accept something as true. When you don’t accept the fact that you can change your life, it won’t change. Our minds have a way of controlling our lives. So, if your mind is stuck on negativity, sickness, fear, survival mode, drama, and/or anything that doesn’t support goodness in your life, you are in mind (mental) prison. I was left with no other choice but to start believing in the supernatural. I had to at least give it a chance before I gave up. So, I trusted my gut, the unknown, and started my intentional healing journey. It took some time and healing to release my mind from the prison I built, to even start believing that I could have the peace I was seeking. Once I opened my heart and released control from doing things my way, I was able to believe that my dreams could become reality.
I also believe that once we stop (day) dreaming and envisioning out future, we give up on wanting to change out circumstances. We give up on believing we have purpose. We give up on believing we are unique. We give up on believing we have something different to offer the world. We give up on serving humanity. We give up on experiencing life from a righteous place. We stopped believing. When you were a child you believed you could achieve whatever you wanted, but unfortunately at some point you were silenced, and your dreams were rejected by your environment. So, wherever you are now, you are safe to dream again. You are safe to become child-like and believe that whatever you dream can become reality, but you must do the work.
Yes, you can change your life, but you must allow God to assist you. You must surrender and get out of your way. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to heal the things that are holding you back. You must face your reflection. You must stop competing with other people, you are only competing with your reflection. You must sit with yourself (stillness). You must find love for yourself again. You must focus on your wellness. You must let go of people that aren’t allowing you to grow and evolve. You must be willing to do something different, change your path and create routine. You must be willing to unlearn societal views and be open to new perspectives. You must silence yourself and the noise around you, so that you can hear your conscience. You must believe, so that you can create your future by dreaming again!
-Keela Reed