Healing Brought Me Purpose

I started my healing journey well over a year ago, around the time the pandemic started. Initially, I didn’t know where this journey would lead me. My journey was a rough start because mentally I didn’t think anything could heal me. Not to mention, I stopped praying long before this and my faith was shaky. I was suffering from mental illnesses that had taken over my life. Major depressive disorder and anxiety/panic disorder amongst other things was my diagnosis. I was at such a low place that I didn’t know how much longer I could live like that. There was no one that I could turn to that could help me or truly understand. I was hopeless. When I realized no one or anything could make my pain go away, I knew then I had to do something different. I had to break my own pattern.

It was time to silence the outside world and create sacred space for myself. I subtly distanced myself from everyone, but my household. I limited conversations with others because I was too emotionally vulnerable. I also didn’t want anyone to tell me “It’s going to get better” when they couldn’t see the despair I was swimming in. So, I stopped relying on people.

I started to meditate every day, sometimes twice a day. During this time, I was going to therapy as well. My therapist helped me understand how to allow my feelings to come to the surface and acknowledge them. It wasn’t easy, especially if you are used to suppressing them. It was scary to allow myself to feel what I thought would kill me. It took a few sessions for me to even open up because I have done therapy for years and it didn’t help previously. So, my trust was broken. I didn’t think I could be healed, so I was preparing myself to live with the diagnosis. After some time, I opened up and trusted the process. Then I began to understand what healing really meant.

Once I allowed myself to feel, my life changed. I started to notice a change within myself. I was having lesser panic attacks and I felt like I was rising from the hole where I lived with depression. Aside from therapy, I was journaling, meditating, reading books, and being at one with myself. I witnessed a miracle happening within me. I was healing to a point where I didn’t need prescribed medication anymore….a major blessing! I didn’t need anything but God and myself. This gave me the foundation I needed. My thoughts became clear, and my heart was unblocked. I was no longer led by my trauma.

Since then, I realized my life’s purpose. By clearing my head and heart, I was able to see clearly and hear the path I was destined to travel. It has been a beautiful experience, but also challenging because it is not easy to face yourself. Especially the part where you have to invite old wounds to the surface, but anything is possible. By this time, I knew I was being divinely guided to start my business making and selling my “Self-Love” bracelets. I am now also a Mental Wellness and Spiritual life coach. Very soon people will be able to book coaching sessions with me. Everything was set in my path by the Divine. I knew it was God because in my sick days I have never had this desire. I am truly blessed and happy to start coaching people who want change and take their life back.

-Journey of a Butterfly