I have been on a hiatus breaking barrier! To the ones who supports me and was looking for me, I apologize deeply. I hope to still have your support. I have been off the grid from blogging because I was hitting a block on content. Before I crashed into an emotional and mental wall, I did not realize that I was at a very vulnerable place in healing. It was important that I grant myself some downtime. I felt the need to change the vibe of my blogs anyway. Great timing, right? So, I had to start changing ME. I could not have done that with the mind frame I was in. This last downtime I took from blogging, I have made major progress in what I am striving to be. Therapy and journaling were not enough for me. This was not freedom I was expecting to feel. My outlook on life had to change. So, I changed my surroundings also. I started to read books that usually would not interest me and actually finish them. I will share the books that have inspired me so far in the upcoming blogs.
While feeling somewhat optimistic about the future, I noticed things were not changing. I was only falling deeper into the hole I was trying to climb out of. Then I knew it was time to change how I viewed my life and my obstacles. Now, I tend to find the good in most situations. I am learning that life is supposed to happen. Acknowledging and healing from anything or anyone that caused you pain is POWERFUL. It is not easy to address any type of hurt and that is when avoiding it seems necessary. My best friend and I were discussing how we think there is a certain stage in life where your mind and body forces you to deal with the issues we suppress. I am starting to see that no matter how strong we are with suppressing our hurt, it still finds a way to surface.
Transitioning out of the military is not an easy process and it certainly wasn’t a quick fix from the anger and sadness I was feeling. Especially since we are going through a national pandemic. So, I needed to break to free myself from everything. I have had some high and low moments, but things started to turn around when I began to truly focus on myself. The real self-care is truly loving yourself and then being able to spread that kind of love into the world.
The key word is “truly” loving yourself. The self-care routine I was doing meant nothing because I was not educating myself. Yes, I got my nails done and massages, and it was great! I was filling up my “physical” self-care cup. I was not reflecting on me nor approaching the things about myself I didn’t understand. I had to change the way I thought about myself. Out of the many things I am learning on my journey, having a positive frame of mind will turn things around for us. It has started to turn things around for me. I am proof.
Being positive about ourselves and life is being CONFIDENT. Do not allow people, outside of those who truly love you, to have complete access to you because everyone's intentions are not good. My plan for this blog site is to share more of the things I have been using to better myself. I feel that I am getting closer to my purpose and this is only confirmation that everything will always be OKAY.
-JOAB
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